It don't count if…

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I was in a conversation with two friends discussing the character Cocoa, in my book Off the Chain Volume 2. Our conversation revolved around Cocoa's opinion that you could have sex with someone else and technically not be cheating as long as you didn't….have an orgasm. That's right. You can be in a relationship with someone and go out and have intercourse, oral sex…whatever …and as long as you don't cum…you're not cheating.
I rolled on the floor in laughter as my friends (who are female of course) stated that although they didn't agree with Cocoa's rule, they did feel that there were some exceptions to cheating and they rattled them off to me.

It don't count if the person you cheat with lives in a different zip code.
If don't count if the sex ain't good.
It don't count if your boyfriend is out of town.
It don't count if you're out of town.

Amazed with this female mindset, I took the question to my Yahoo group and asked my members if they felt there were some things that…didn't count… in regards to cheating.

Following is what I got back (only the women replied by the way).

It don't count if:
You don't get caught.
He has no skills.
He's your ex.
He doesn't lick it right.
He don't have the motion to rock ocean.
He cums before he even sticks it in.
You don't take off all your clothes.
You can't feel the dick!
You don't cum.
Different area code.
You don't insert body parts (but you can insert anything else ).
You don't kiss.
You just get fingered.
If you live upstairs and he lives downstairs.
They don't make you cum.
If he rushes it.
If he don't pound it good.


My favorite comments are as follows:

It don't count if I don't want it to count!
It don't count the minute he walks out the door!
It don't count if your boyfriend brings a friend and his friend fucks you better!
It Don't count if you knew the person you cheat with before the person you were with...unfinished business ...don't count!

As I stated earlier in this article, only the women replied and you see their answers. This lets me know…that there are a whole lotta women…cheatin'… and then cuddling up next to their lover with no remorse. Because in their mind…what they did…don't count.

Peace.


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A playa has 4 different types of girls....

A Playa has 4 different types of girls...

1. Wifey
2. Baby Girl
3. Side Piece
4. Jump Off



1) Wifey is the sexiest, most successful and most respected of all the women. She is loved, needed and wanted by her man...she is VIRTUALLY IRREPLACEABLE. She is the girl that the guy loves and will always love, he never wants to see her with another man...BUT he will cheat on her with Baby Girl until he is mature enough to realize that if he gets caught or fucks up in any way and loses Wifey, he would be screwed, and NEVER be happy again. Wifey gets along with mom, is independent, never nags, loves to dress sexy for her man, can cook and loves to keep a clean house. Wifey gets called 5 or 6 times a day. Drawback of Wifey, she loves public displays of affection...which might interfere with the acquisition of a Side Piece.






2) Baby Girl is ALWAYS just as hot as wifey and usually has a very active social life...she IS replaceable, thinks she's the next Wifey, but will only be Wifey if an extreme disaster takes place. Baby Girl gets some of the benefits of Wifey, like quality time every now and then and even presents on birthdays and holidays, but that's as far as it goes. The main reason to have Baby Girl is in case Wife really really fucks up, she can be replaced in a matter of weeks because Baby Girl has been groomed to slip right into her spot. Be careful of Baby Girl, she tends to be just as attached as Wifey and therefore can be dangerous to the Side Piece. Biggest benefit of Baby Girl..she is extremely private and hates causing a scene, baby girl can come into the same restaurant as you and wifey and wifey will have no idea you two even know each other. Baby Girl is a master of disguise as well.





3) Side Piece, usually a female that the guy uses only for sex and other pleasures, she is usually the one that he goes to for that 3-some or some late night head after the club. When Wifey is acting up and Baby Girl is at work, the Side Piece is usually the one to hold him over for
A few hrs. He can meet with the Side Piece for reasons other than sex, but normally that only happens one week during the month. Side Pieces are hard to spot when they are out because most of her friends are either Wifey's or Jump Offs. Drawback of having more than one side piece, they usually know each other somehow...we kinda think there is a side piece network.Com or something. Try to keep your side piece count below 4 if possible.



4) Jump Off...every mans dream and worst nightmare. She is trying to move up in life, wants to be a Side Piece or Wifey but doesn't know how to go about it. They are just the girls he hollas at when he is with his boys...she is usually stored in the cell phone by a nickname because he barely remembers her real name and where he met her...he only recalls how fat her ass was. The Jump Off gets called in emergencies only, when wifey is moody, baby girl is on vacation and side piece is with her baby's father. The Jump Off is extremely dangerous in public for a number of reasons, she is usually 5 other guys jump off as well, so she might cause drama with you and one of those dudes if you slip up, she also has no problem confronting you in the mall when you are with Wifey (something that baby girl would NEVER do) and the most dangerous thing about Jump Off...she ALWAYS seems to find out where you live and or work.

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Next edition of Whose your Daddy???

The next edition of my advice column...Whose your Daddy???

Daddy,

I need help. My fiancé is the sweetest, kindest most thoughtful man I have ever met. Butttttt. he has a female best friend. They go everywhere together, they tell each other everything, they work together and are together in some way everyday. He says that they are just friends and have been for over ten years. He is very attentive to me but if I call and she is around his tone changes. He always ends with I love you, unless she is around. And the only time he does not call on schedule is when he is with her. I've talked to some of my girlfriends about the situation and they think that I should talk to my fiancé's friend to feel her out. What do you think? Should I invest the rest of my life with this man?

WannaBeMarried


Wanna,

C'mon you know what's up. Whenever a man is extra tight with a woman and calls her his friend it's because she has everything that he wants in a woman except one major thing.

That's why she's a friend.

But if she ever fixes that one thing she is missing you best believe she will IMMEDIATELY be moved out of the friend category.

Every friend that I had like that there was some form of intimacy although it was limited. So although your man is not doing girl every night he is doing something with her every now and then. Please don't play yourself and think that he is not.

I firmly believe that your spouse should be your best friend. It sounds like that place will not be filled by you. Can you deal with that? I'll answer that question for you since I know a little bit about you love.

YOUR A SCORPIO!!!!!!!!!!!

Ya'll don't play second fiddle. Period! If you're bothered now...you're going to be livid when he's doing what he is now when you got his ring on your finger. You're pressed about being married, however, what you need to be concerned with is finding the best person for you dear.

And if you're asking this question then you should know he is not. The perfect relationship is easy. You don't have to put that much work into it.

In regards to talking to your fiancé's friend…I really don't think you should talk to her at all. What I would be curious about is which one of them has something wrong with them. Is it him? Or is it her?

If he is the one that is missing something you need to be very concerned... because if he can fix the it what ever it is she is going to take your man ring or not. The main question you need to ask yourself is can you share your man or not? Like I said…I don't think you can.

So you need to be talking to your dude and let him know that if you are going to be his wife that he needs to kick his friend to the curb. If you're not his everything what the hell are you going to wear his ring for?

If he can do that...marry him.

If he can't....you better not.

Because we can bet money right now that you won't be married long or you will be seriously cheating on him.

Whose your Daddy???


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Abundant Ministries Excerpt

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Abundant Ministries Book Release Party

Abundant Ministries Book Release Party
Current mood: accomplished

The book release party for my next book Abundant Ministries will be held November 10 at the Renaissance Marriott in Dallas, Texas.

There will be a book signing from 4pm-6pm held in the main lobby.

Dinner party with me at Patrizo from 6:30pm-9pm. If you would like to attend the dinner, RSVP to euftis_emery@yahoo.com.

Finally, there will be a VIP Mixer (intimate wear required) from 9:30pm - Until. This will be an invitation only event.

I am excited about the release of my next book and I look forward to readers in the Dallas area coming out to enjoy the event.

The search phrases people use to find my books...

http://adultdreamhost.com/user/euftis/EuftisEmery.html

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I use tracking software on my website and various places where I post so that I can gather statistics which will help me to market my books.

One of the items of data that I capture are the search phases that people use when they use a search engine to find one of my web pages.

It's pretty funny looking at what people are searching for and following are actual searches that people have used and stumbled upon my work.

I take comfort looking at this list because although I have people telling me how 'above the norm' that I am this list shows that there are a WHOLE lot of people much further out in the left field than me.

LOL

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