Confessions of a Video Vixen

This is a very sad story of someone who never got their
life together. Life is not one big continuous party and it's
unfortunate that Supahead probably still does not
understand this. I started this review stating that it is a
very sad story. However, I don't find the story sad
because of the trials of Ms. Head. I find it impossible to
feel sorry for someone who makes the same mistakes
again and again.

This story is sad because I feel very sorry for the child
that was birthed by this woman. I won't
say...raised...because a woman who would
leave her child at the doorstep of a physically abusive
father or leave for days and even weeks at a time on
X-tab binging parties is not a mother. I found Supahead's
behavior in regards to her child reprehensible. But what
can you expect? A trollop is as a trollop does.

Euftis Emery
Author of Off the Chain


Click here to get my books...

A Taste of Sin by Fiona Zedde

Zedde tells a mesmeric tale of lust set in the backdrop of Miami. I am attracted to erotica in which I can potentially expand my own sexual horizons by learning something new or have a voyeuristic peek into things that I am incapable of experiencing (ie, lesbian relationships).

I read this book wide eyed. Like a young boy who falls upon his fathers nudie magazine collection for the first time as he thumbs through the pages quickly while keeping both ears open and glancing over his shoulder repeatedly hoping that they don't get caught.

Fiona does not give us a...taste...of sin. Ohhh no! She stuffs the reader with a banquet of it. I must say after reading this book I am...very...satisfied. However, although I enjoyed the intensity, passion, and remorseless...sinning...of the women that Ms. Zedde created in this hedonistic tale. I am more impressed with Fiona's writing style. At times her words literally dance on the page with a life of their own.

It's official. I am now a Fiona Zedde fan. Great book. Great writer. Five stars.

Euftis Emery
Author of Off the Chain

Smashwords is kinda stupid.

Smashwords is a distribution service like LULU for independent authors. Unlike LULU, however, Smashwords focus is on ebooks and they can be used to distribute your books to Barnes & Nobles, Sony, Kobo and Amazon.

I looked at Smashwords as a distributor because both Barnes & Nobles, Sony and Kodo won't let independents distribute directly to them. Plus I want to publish my ebooks on as many electronic ereaders as possible for use on my beloved IPad when it ships. So I setup an account and after following their rigid editing standards for ebooks, I had a Smashwords version of my latest books "Revenge - Between my lover's legs..." and "Off the Chain Sampler" in Word format that I uploaded for conversion.

Smashwords converted my books and then demanded that I remove the images from my books and change my book covers because they felt they were too sexual in nature. I was offended to say the least because all of my books are already in print and neither Amazon, Barnes and Nobles or Borders ever expressed...any...issues with my content.

I was doubly pissed off because Smashwords is a 'distributor' not a 'publisher' so they are way out of bounds trying to dictate to an author about their content. I fumed for several days and then did some research and found out how to directly distribute my books to Kobo. I already distribute my books to Amazon so that eliminated two ticks that I needed for Smashwords.

I did some additional research but couldn't find a way to go direct to B&N and Sony without Smashwords. So after fuming so more I removed the images that Smashwords had their panties in a bunch about and changed the cover they found offensive. So to distribute with Smashwords I'll be forced to have two separate versions of all my books.

I thought that was bad and then Smashwords announced that the Style Guide's requirements will change in the future. So after going through a tedious revision process once I may have to go through yet another all over again. I don't think so.

The...second...that B&N and Sony get their shit together and allow publishers to directly upload titles to their sites I will be getting rid of Smashwords as a middle man.

Independent authors and publishers are looking for inexpensive and easy methods to offer their products to market. Smashwords advantage is providing a portal for the distribution to multiple marketing channels. However, being anal about an author's content when they are only providing distribution services and having shifting and tedious editing standards will cause authors to view Smashwords as more problems than what they are worth.

Smashwords could have become a major force in the new age of book publishing. But alas, like all companies with an excellent product at the right time with stupid management they are doomed to failure.

Like I said, Smashwords is kinda stupid.

Author "Ms. Downlow's" review of my book Revenge - Between my lover's legs...

5.0 out of 5 stars Humorous and Sexy!, February 18, 2010
By ms. downlow "ms. downlow" (Los Angeles, CA USA) - See all my reviews
I read this in one night after downloading the preview, which literally made me laugh out loud. I applaud Euftis Emery's creativity. He manages to make his characters seem like folks you know. I especially love that he makes himself the main character in the novel, and tells you from the outset what you can do if you don't like his decision to do so.

Even better, the sex here is hot, and each scene is unique from the one before. No repetitive phrases, just fresh, hot, sexy action. This is about a man getting his and delivering pleasure to every women he does. I love this story, although it could use a little more editing. I'm a perfectionist about spelling, but this is the first and only novel that I enjoyed so much that the minor errors didn't detract from the work. Bravo Euftis, I will be checking out more of your work!

Click this link to see my books...

Whose your Daddy?

If you have a question for me send an email with Daddy or some derivation in the subject line.


Daddy,

I had a dream that I don't understand. I hope that you can help me. i was wearing a red nightie, no panties and
i was in a room, with two couches, facing each other. Each counch had 3 or 4 guys sitting on it. I didn't know any of them and they were all asleep, dressed in shirts, ties and dress slacks.

Their pants were all unzipped,with their "man parts" hanging out. I straddled one guy, facing him, and his
dick got hard and i rode him for awhile and at some point i put a blanket over his lap.

I also remember driving around a parking lot, having a hard time finding a space. When I did find a space, i parked and went into an auditorium, which was only about half full.

i remember freight train cars on tracks outside the auditorium door, and seeing the numbers 4 and 5.

You know... i wonder why i am always dreaming weird shit like thise. You think i need professional help?
And i'm very serious.


Dear Very Serious,

Although you just may have chalked this up as a 'weird' dream in actuality this dream speaks volumes about things going on in your subconscious. As in all dreams you must first identify the symbols in your dream before you can make sense of it.

You had a number of symbols in your dream and they are as follows:

1) Lingerie
2) Couch
3) Strangers who were asleep
4) Dress shirts and pants
5) Penis(s)
6) Sex
7) Blanket
8) Driving
9) Garage
10) Freight Train
11) Auditorium
12) Numbers 4 and 5

To dream that you are wearing lingerie, represents your sexual identity, body image and your self-esteem. You may finally be recognizing and acknowledging an aspect of yourself that was not previously expressed.

To see or dream that you are on a couch, represents rest, relaxation, laziness or boredom. It may also mean you need to clear you mind and thoughts. Consider also who is on the couch with you as the dream may also have sexual connotations.

To see a stranger in your dream, symbolizes the part of yourself that is repressed and hidden.

To dream that you are sleeping, denotes peace of mind. Alternatively, it may also mean that you are ignorant and not fully aware of the conditions and circumstances around you. If you are sleeping with a stranger, suggests that you are avoiding some issue or situation that is being symbolized by the stranger. Perhaps you are refusing to recognize a negative aspect of yourself.

To see others sleeping, is often a reflection of yourself and your own unconscious mind. It is indicative of how you may not be alert or informed about a particular situation.

To see or wear pants in your dream, suggests that you are questioning your role in some situation. Consider the material and color of the pants for additional interpretation. Alternatively, the dream may be hinting at some sexual matter.

To dream of a shirt, refers to your emotions or some emotional situation. The shirt you wear reveals your attitude and level of consciousness about a particular situation.

To see a penis in your dream, signifies sexual energy, power, aggression, and fertility.

To dream about sex, refers to the psychological completion and the integration of contrasting aspects of the Self. You need to be more receptive and incorporate aspects of your dream sex partner into your own character. Alternatively and a more direct interpretation of the dream, may be your libido's way of telling you that it's been too long since you have had sex. It may indicate repressed sexual desires and your needs for physical and emotional love.

To see a blanket in your dream, symbolizes warmth, love, security and protection. You may be seeking for some form of shelter from the outside world. Consider also how your dream may be calling attention to a "cover-up" in some situation or circumstance in your waking life.

To dream that you are wrapped in a blanket, indicates your fear of the unknown. You may feel some sort of threat/chaos or sense some coldness from those around you.To dream that you are covering or wrapping someone in a blanket, suggests you desire to care for that person.

To dream that you are driving a vehicle, signifies your life's journey and your path in life. The dream is telling of how you are moving and navigating through life. If you are driving and cannot see the road ahead of you, then it indicates that you do not know where you are headed in life and what you really want to do with yourself. You are lacking direction and goals. If you are driving on a curvy road, then it indicates that you are have difficulties in achieving your goals and the changes associated with it. Alternatively, driving a car in your dream, is analogous to your sex life and sexual performance. Consider how you are driving and what kind of car you are driving and how it relates to your waking sex life.

To dream that you are in a garage, signifies a period of inactivity and idleness in your life. You may feel that you have no direction or guidance toward achieving your goals.

To see a train in your dream, represents conformity. You are going along with what everyone else is doing. Or you have a need to do things in an orderly and sequential manner. In particular, if you see a freight train, then it refers to the burdens and problems that you are hauling around.

Seeing an auditorium is a representation of your total self. All aspects or your psyche.

Four denotes stability, physical limitations, hard labor and earthly things, as in the four corners of the earth. It also stands for materialistic matters. You get things done.

Five represents your persuasiveness, spontaneity, daring/bold nature, action or the five human senses. This number may reflect a change in course. It is also the link between heaven and earth.

Told ya you had a a lot going on in this little dream. So what does it mean? You're not crazy love. You're just horny as fuck. That and you are going through a sexual transformation.

You're a little confused about an aspect of your sexuality. You're aware of what this aspect is but you have denied it. Although you may control these desire during the day, your subconscious if fighting to let it out.

I would advise you to explore these desires to determine for sure if it is something that you want to partake of on the regular. Once you know for sure whether you like these things or not then the war between your conscious and subconscious mind will be put to rest.

Whose your Daddy?

Excerpt from Off the Chain Volume 2

I’m going to digress for a bit to share a little something with the brotha’s
who are not in the know. So ladies…just skip down to the next section.
It’s denoted as ***On With The Story***.

Hold on my brotha’s. Let’s give the sista’s a minute to scroll down to
continue with the story.

They all gone now? Good. Okay fella’s now that the ladies have
jumped ahead, I’m going to share with you what graduates of The Mack
Association call the ThreeDayPrincipal. Every woman. Every…woman!

Is only faithful as long as she is happy!

I know what a lot of you are thinking right now. Euftis! Half of them don’t
know what they want or need in order to be happy! Exactly!
The stupid brotha’s are scratching their heads right now because they
don’t understand the problem. Let me break it down for ya. There is a
very simple equation that breaks down what equates to… happy…for a
woman. It’s as follows:

Happy = Getting Whatever She Wants When She Wants It!

The men reading this who do their women wrong or intentionally do
shit to piss them off have probably resigned in their heads if not their
hearts that their women are going to fuck around on them. If ya didn’t
know…ya know now! However, the monogamous, hard working, take care
of home brotha’s are all cringing right now. You’re cringing because you
know that women…being women…at times want shit that is just fucking
unrealistic!

Happy = Getting Whatever She Wants When She Wants It!

When a real man is faced with a woman who makes an unrealistic
demand he is…forced to put his foot down. And how…hard…you put your
foot down…not giving your woman what she wants when she wants it…will
determine how bad she will fuck around on you to get back at you.
Now, on average, a woman will have her MadOn for up to three days
before she cools off or her man makes amends. Depending on how bad
you piss your woman off, in that three day window she will do one of the
following things:

If you make her angry, she will smile affectionately when that flirtatious
co-worker bluntly tells her how good her ass looks in that new suit she‘s
got on. If you make her mad, she will let someone take her to lunch or
dinner as Cocoa allowed me in this story. Heaven forbid if the brotha
who takes her out is smooth. Because if he can finesse her out of the
panties she will give him the pussy. And if you piss her the fuck off! She
will go…looking…for someone to fuck her brains out.
But let’s just say that you are one of the lucky few men out there who
can give his woman everything she wants. You’re…still…fucked! I don’t
know if it’s biorhythms, global warming, lunar eclipses, solar flares, or
temporary planetary alignments. Things can be going smoothly and there
can be nothing that your woman needs or wants and she will … still…
periodically lose her fucking mind for no good reason. Leaving you no
recourse but to…check her ass…hard!
“Okay Euftis! What are some things that I can say to her that will send her out
the door looking for some dick?”
Good question! When you check your woman, if you start a sentence off
with one of the following, your woman…will…fuck someone else to get
back at you.

“It’s gonna be this way ‘cause I said so…”
“I’m the man in this house…”
(Saying nothing. Just ignoring her ass completely as she rants.)
“You don’t know what the fuck you’re…”
“Just do what I tell you…”
“Ho! Didn‘t I…”
“Look bitch…”

Get the picture? Therefore, even in the best of relationships, you’re
woman will fuck up on you at a minimum of 1-3 times a year. Sorry couz!
Now I know that there are still a few DoubtingThomas’s out there. You’re
the ones grudgingly reading my book because you wanna know what
your woman’s reading in the bed, skin all oiled and perfumed up with a
glass of wine in her hand or in a hot bubble bath with scented candles all
around the tub. You’re the one’s debating with your women the veracity
of my stories. (Just…haten’…on Euftis!) Stories like, Horny in the Motor
City. You tell your woman…this shit ain’t true! No woman would let a man
do some shit like this to them!
Hey yo! Did you ever stop to think…why…your woman takes my side in
these debates? Why she is…adamant…that Horny and stories like it are
true? Because she knows…if she was pissed off enough with your
ass…that she would do the same thing that girlfriend did in that
story….who was by the way…pissed off with her man! Hellllllo!
“But Euftis! My woman goes to church three days a week and caries her bible
with her everywhere she goes! She’s saved! She would never do anything like
that to me!”
Yes she would! If you make her mad enough. Even your bible carryin’
PrasiseWarrior will be in the church after hours getting…counseling… from
her pastor, or favorite minister or deacon…whose got the big dick. She’ll be
on her knees up in the pulpit or down in the basement with that flower
print dress on that makes her look so…sanctified. The dress will be hiked
up in the back…the bloomers will be around her ankles…and she will just
be getting the…lining…fucked…out of her pussy! Don’t shake your head!
Yes! Yes! Even you my saved brotha! Do not be fooled!
I know some of you still doubt me. Let’s put it to the test. This is what I
want ya to do (If your woman‘s got a cute face and phat ass!). Start an
argument with her. And at some point in the argument…call her a bitch.
After you call her a bitch…see to it that she runs into me within three days.
Any takers? Thought not…
But don’t be depressed. It’s all good! ‘Cause what’s good for her…is just
as good for you. Here’s what ya do. You know that foine ass married
woman you work with whose pussy you try to sniff every time she walks
by? Or that…sexy…sista at church who has been livin’ with Brotha Eddie
for years and he still won’t commit to putting a ring on her finger.
Ohhhh… and don’t forget the woman who you…just knew…was going to
have all your babies but broke your heart by telling you that you
were…cute…or…nice …but she just couldn’t see herself dating you?
Become those women’s…platonic friend! Position yourself as the person
they go to for advice. Allow them to vent to you. Listen to their little
problems. Become their sounding board. Don’t worry. You don’t have
to say much. Just interject, “okay / yea / damn / say what! / uhhh huh / you’re
funny / you go girl! / you’re bad! / no they didn‘t!”, and the like where
appropriate. They will be happy as hell that they got somebody to listen to them
while they run their damn mouth!
But the key (And I know this will be hard for all you no pussy getting
nigga’s!) is to…never…broach the subject of sex with them. Look good!
Have your SmellGoods on! You can tell them that they look nice or that
they got a nice outfit on. But don’t do anything more than that! You’re goal,
is to become their asexual male friend that they like to talk to. Why?
Because it’s only a matter of time…before they get pissed off…with their man!

Happy = Getting Whatever She Wants When She Wants It!

Got it? So if you’re that special friend…that they come to for advice or to
vent to…when they get pissed off…whose house are they going to want to
visit to discuss the problem? Uhhhhh huh! Yours! And when they ask
you to meet them somewhere to vent or get some…advice…about her man
(And trust me she will!)…then you just take her shit! And she’s gonna give
it to ya! ‘Cause she’s there…to get back…at her man!”
You’re not trying to be a playa by doing this. You’re just…balancing the
scales…for all the times that your woman will get mad at you and fuck
somebody else. If you tend to piss your woman off more than most, then
get more…friends…so you can keep those scales balanced partna.
Now here is another key point if you want to get the pussy again. After
the nut…just go you’re separate ways. Don’t ask for a date or some stupid
shit like that. Remember! She only fucked you…to get back at her man! Just
become her platonic friend again and pretend the shit didn’t happen. If
she mentions the incident…apologize…tell her you’re sorry that it
happened and insist that she never speak on it again! Become her
asexual, platonic friend again. Why? Because it’s only a matter of
time…before she gets pissed off… with her man again!
“But Euftis! You didn’t tell me how to stop my woman from letting some big
dick nigga pile drive her pussy into the floor if I call her a bitch!”
Sorry couz! Even I don’t know everything! But hey…at least I showed you
how to get some complication free pussy! :o) What can I say? It’s an
imperfect world homey…
Now lets get back…

Wait a minute!
You nosey ass heifer‘s!
Didn’t I tell you this was for the men only!
Yea! I know what I said!
I told on all ya’ll!
And you know it’s true!
Get over it!
Lynette…fix your face!
Pumpkin…hush!
Ms. Evil…stop laughing!
Gwen…put the phone down! I don’t wanna here it!

I’ve digressed enough. Now on with the story!

Revenge - Between my lovers legs...

Euftis is married to a mentally unstable Leata who is verbally castrating, undermines him with his children, and deprives him sexually in order to control him. Michelle is the perfect wife married to an egotistical and manipulative husband who uses her to give him the illusion of propriety. Euftis and Michelle will find each other and together they will both get...REVENGE.

Get my latest book now at Amazon.com for the Amazon Kindle. Paperback and ebook versions available Jan. 1, 2010.


Get my latest book here!