Thursday, May 31, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
I'm a 23 and I have been married for nine months. My husband used to make me so hot by foreplay before we got married. We were so electric before, we really couldn't keep our hands off one another.
We used to make love everywhere using toys and role play, but now he is so boring!!! And it’s like he don't want to explore any more. Get my drift? Now it’s no foreplay to set the mood at all. What can I do to get him back to pleasing me?
Signed Not so Hot
Not so Hot,
You’re languishing in what I like to call “The Halo Effect”. Normally this dynamic occurs with white, Catholic men but surprisingly there are a number of black men in the Baptist and Pentecostal church who are afflicted with this issue.
“The Halo Effect”, is when a man who would have no problems being sexually adventuress with what a woman that he considers is a ho, refuses to seek out the same sexual urges with his wife. He does this because he puts a “Halo” on her and regards her reverently such that he can’t fathom having anything but STR8 missionary sex with her.
I have a friend who loves to get head and have anal sex. But he…never…engages in those practices with his wife. However, he has no problem getting side pieces that he considers a ho to satiate his urges. I asked him on several occasions why he was cheating on a wife that would probably satisfy his needs and he lost his fucking mind yelling at me about how he could, “…never do that to his wife.”
And that’s the major problem with these types of men. They still have the freaky urges that they do not engage in with their wives so they seek out a mistress or worse prostitutes. To be frank, I’m surprised that you’re husband married you.
Don’t get me wrong, I think that you’re a wonderful, well-adjusted young woman. However, these types of men typically marry virgins or women who are not that sexually experienced. You must have really had his nose open for him to put a ring on your finger with his mind-set. Unfortunately for you as soon as he did “The Halo Effect” kicked in his brain.
My advice to you is to get him in counseling…immediately. You need a third party that will confront and break down the barrier in his mind that is keeping him from building a healthy and varied sexual relationship with his wife.
It’s going to take some work because he has a mind-set that took most of his life to build. However, you need to deal with this issue before he cheats…or you.
Who’s your Daddy?
Sunday, May 27, 2012
If you have a question for me send an email with Daddy or sum derivation there of to firstname.lastname@example.org.
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I am 22 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years. Our sex life has went from 4 times a week to maybe once a month. We do not live together, but we try to see each other every weekend. He is always tired from work and never really has the energy to give me what I want. Lately my hormones have been raging! My question to you is what do I need to do to make my man become the jack rabbit he once was????
Young & Horny
Young & Horny,
Your sexin’ has gone from four times a week to…maybe…once a month. Say what? Once a month! Are you serious? Been there… Done that… Never… Ever… Again!
My dear you have a major problem and having been in a situation where my spouse withheld sex from me to at best twice a month I totally understand what you are going through.
So your dude has gone from hittin’ it four times a week to…maybe…once a month. The reasons that a man would change his ‘bonin’ frequency so drastically are as follows:
- 1. Onset of a medical issue (i.e., diabetes).
- 2. He no longer finds you sexually attractive (i.e., you’ve gained weight).
- 3. He’s bored with you sexually.
- 4. You’re a verbally abusive harpy and he is keeping you around because he is using your for financial or other reasons.
- 5. He’s got a freak or two on the side who is draining him of his precious bodily fluids on a daily basis.
I’m sorry my dear no man who likes to get his fuck on at least four times a week will go to a frequency of…maybe…once a month when he’s got willing pussy because he’s…tired…from work. I don’t care how many hours a man works in a day, he is going to schedule some “pussy breaks” into his day/week somewhere.
So you’re task is to by process of elimination figure out which item(s) on my list are the cause for your problems. The first thing that you should do is find out when was the last time that your man had a major physical.
If it’s been longer than a year, schedule one for him and be sure that he gets a full panel of blood work done including a testerone test. If his physical comes back with flying colors then you need to be honest with yourself and determine if you are a verbally abusive harpy.
When your dude can’t get it up do you attempt to entice/seduce him? Or do you verbally chastise him when his Jimmy doesn’t want to play with you? Do you tell him that he is your King? Your Daddy? Or do you wear the pants in the house and you’re constantly on your dude telling him to man-up, stop being a panty-waste, or worse stop acting like a bitch?
If you’re a verbally abusive harpy (and you know if you are) then my advice to you is to leave dude alone and move on to the next one. Because believe me you’re sleeping with the enemy and whatever reason that dude is keeping you around is definitely not in your best interest.
But if your problem is not medical and you’re not a mouthy harpy then here is a test that you can use on your man to eliminate the rest of the items on my list.
First, talk to your man and find out what slinky outfits that…he…would like to see you in. I emphasized “he” because normally a woman will buy lingerie that she likes and typically what…you…like is…not…what your man wants to see you in.
So find out what…he…likes and even if you feel his choices are slutty or stank…wear…it! Next before buying your play outfits, take stock on your body and be sure that whatever you purchase that it covers your flaws while emphasizing your assets.
Adequately armed for seduction, then tell your man that on a night that he has off that you want to cater to him. Go over to his place, put on your lil outfit and prance around cleaning his house, cooking him a nice hot meal, run him a hot bath, clean his kitchen, dry him off, lotion him up, feed him, then put him to bed.
Don’t…mention…sex. Just tell him that you want to cater to him and be his eye candy. At some point, during your prancing around he should take it. However, if he is so tired that he doesn’t, then ask him if you can set the alarm to go off after he has gotten a few hours of sleep so that you can suck his dick.
Don’t mention fuckin’. Just ask him if you can…suck…his…dick. And when that alarm goes off… Slide down there and get to work. He should be rested, relaxed and ready for you.
Now after 15-20 minutes of head he doesn’t wax that ass or worse can’t get hard… He’s got another bitch. And that bitch… Is fucking the…shit…out of your man. Move on.
But if he does wax that ass… Then you have been boring him sexually and you need to step up your game and learn some new tricks to keep your man hard and ready for you. Because keeping his dick hard is…your…job. Not his.
Whose your Daddy?
Saturday, May 19, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
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I'm a 22 year old virgin living in Los Angeles. I've always wanted to wait until I fall in love to have sex with someone. I've been very close two separate times but both times I found out that they were already in a relationship with children.
To say that I'm just horny is an understatement. I don't want to compromise what I have been looking for, which is truly being in love and having someone love me back. On the other hand what I need I can't begin to put in words. I'm way past being sexually frustrated.
I need to figure out if these feelings are normal. The longer I wait the more I feel pressured to find that person to love, but the deeper my sexual feelings become as well.
Torn and confused
Torn and Confused,
Life is very simple. It’s about making choices and accepting the impact of those choices without regret. When people experience, doubt, confusion or fear from a choice that they have made with their lives it’s because they have not fully accepted the ramifications of their decision.
People straddle the fence with life decisions for various reasons (religion, job, parents, friends). In other words, they alter their behavior because they are concerned about what someone else thinks. When this occurs they become conflicted toggling from what they really want to conforming to society’s viewpoint.
You are at war with yourself right now because you cannot make some simple decisions. You crave sex but you don’t want it until you find love. Personally I feel that both are mutually exclusive but if you have made the choice for the two to go together for whatever reason then you need to fully embrace your decision.
You need to distance yourself from all things that tempt you to have sex without love. You need to focus on making yourself the type of woman for the type of man that you want to love. Do so, without...one...second of regret.
Now if you can’t do the above devoid of regret and confusion then you need to be honest with yourself and determine if that is what you really want. Because if it isn’t, then you need to decouple your need for sex…with…love and find enjoyment in occasional sex…while…you look for love.
Do so…without guilt.
Whose your Daddy?