Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Dysfunctional Friends #movies #moviereview


It's rare that I like a movie that goes directly to DVD, however, Dysfunctional Friends starring Stacy Dash, Meagan Good, Terrel Owens and Corey Grant is a great movie. 

Check it out.  It's a very funny movie.  Much better than all the Tyler Perry crap that's out there.

Saturday, June 23, 2012

17 Ways Women fail In Bed by Lisa Rivera

1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy's dick don't grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the love sword as if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be awed, worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down.

2. ROBOTS: When sucking a guy's dick don't just get on the end of the thing and jam your head back and forward. It's a beautiful instrument; it should be caressed, inspected, kissed and licked from every possible angle.

3. SILENT FRIGHT: If you've come and cannot be coerced to scream to show your appreciation, at least make some sort of sign to inform the guy that he's done his duty and can blow his biscuits whenever he wants.

4. NO LAUGHING MATTER: Don't laugh if your creative male lover gets carried away and says things like, "I want to rinse your mouth with my fresh, white love potion." Laughter at any aspect of the male performance will not enhance it. Just be grateful you've got a guy who can speak in whole sentences.

5. CLOSING UP: If a man is willing to take the trouble to come on your face, don't close your eyes. He wants you to share this ecstatic moment of joyful union and love with him. Semen is not likely to cause permanent blindness in most cases - but this is a risk you should be prepared to take for his happiness.

6. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don't wait to be asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it.

7. HANGING AROUND: When he is done, you should not kiss and cuddle, he does not want to touch you. You should leave the bed and leave him in peace. If you are a one-night stand you should leave the premises with out thieving anything or asking for a phone number. His work is done.

8. BEING SHY: Always offer the Hershey Highway. You know you love It. If you don't like it that much, still offer it as you can quite easily play with yourself as he rams away.

9. BEING A DRIP: You always have tissues in your bag, use them to clean his sheets and any ball bag drippage if you have misbehaved and not swallowed everything.

10. CLOCK-WATCHING: Never, ever, ever, ever even think of saying: "Are you going to come soon." If you're doing a blowie, you'd have to take your mouth off to utter the question. If you're giving a hand-job, you should have gone to the gym to work your biceps. If he's shagging you and takes more than 10 minutes you should be grateful. This is not a time trial but a blissful act of union between two sexually aware and gifted human beings.

11. FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS: Don't ask him if you're the best lover he's ever had most men have had so many sexual partners that it is unlikely that you are. Please don't ask a man to lie about such an important thing.

12. PLAYING DEAD: Don't just lie there, do something. Good sex is not a spectator sport and it helps if both parties move around a bit. I know you expect the men to do all the hard and skillful work. We don't mind that and we're blessed with the equipment and know-how to do it but at least put some effort into the act to show your appreciation.

13. BEING POSSESSIVE: If you are lucky to have an imaginative lover who can satisfy two women at a time don't sneer at or reject his exciting suggestion that one of your friends joins you to make up a threesome. If he's a real man he's probably shagging her anyway. Plus you might learn something from her to keep your man really happy.

14. NOT KEEPING YOUR HAIR ON: Don't shave all your pubic hair off. It makes your snatch look like a piece of poultry past its sell-by date. At best, it looks like the snatch of a ten-year-old. If you want to trim, go for a nice sexy racing stripe in the manner favored by the Playboy models that your man would rather be shagging.

15. SPITTING IT OUT: When a man has gone to so much trouble to ejaculate and get his aim right into your mouth, it is rude to spit it out without savoring taste and gluey texture. You should play with semen like a block of Hubba Bubba, blowing bubbles, chewing and throwing from side to side. A line like "I love it when you come in my mouth" makes for a happy finale to fun and games.

16. BEING UNGRATEFUL: Never forget to thank a man for all the effort and energy he has expended on making love to you - especially if a)sex has lasted more than five minutes and/or b)you managed to achieve an orgasm. A man's role in sex is far more demanding than a woman's so it is always nice when one's prowess is appreciated.

17. SEEKING FAVORS: Never contemplate taking advantage of your man's warm after-sex glow to seek favors or make requests. As he drops off into well-deserved slumber, resist the urge to ask, "Do you think I should buy that dress, skirt, sofa, Mercedes, country cottage?" There is a name for the practice of mixing sex with material gain - prostitution.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Who's your Daddy? - Dealing with Trifling Skanks


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It's time for another installment of, "Who’s your Daddy?".  Advice from little ole me.  If you got a problem or issue and you're interested in my unique viewpoint, just shoot me an email with "Daddy" or some derivation thereof in the subject line.


I was cleaning up some old files and found these old posts.  Enjoy.




Who Took The Black MAN out of RoMANce?


My best friend and I were talking on the phone last night. We were discussing that movie "Something New" with Sanaa Lathan and all the good reviews it received. She also brought up a good point, white men know how to romance a woman and black men don't. We started comparing notes and they started coming together. White men know how to go out on dates and actually not want anything but a kiss in return. Black men pay for your dinner and want some ass in return to compensate. White men open doors, compliment you, and treat you like a precious jewel. Black men let you fend for yourself and call it "Being independent". White men will wait until you are ready to be intimate so they can plan everything perfectly. Black men would screw you in the back of their car if you let them, if you won't they get mad and never call again. Have black men gotten so bad that they just don't care about making a woman fell like the Nubian queens that we are? Or have black women made such a bad reputation for themselves that black men feel like they can treat us any kind of way? What do you think?







Hmmmmmmmm.... Where do I begin?


First off you made a general comparison of white and black men. That ain‘t cool. There are just as many white dawgs as black so you shouldn't have gone there.


Second. I'm very curious as to what type of date that you are. What do I mean by this? I'm going to digress for a bit, but you'll get the point.


Third. I would only date a woman who I am sexually attracted to and want to have some sort of relationship with. I'm a typical black male.


Women who date a man like me are in two categories. 1) Attracted to me as much if not more than I am attracted to them, or 2) looking for someone to…take them out…


I peep the later…real…quick. Wanna know how?


I'm a good date in that I got money, I have class, I'm educated, and can carry a decent conversation.


I'm all about romance. I'll pick you up...take you somewhere nice and different and show you a very good time. After…the date if a woman is attracted to you she will want to have some form of communication with you to get to know you better.


However, a woman who only wants to…use…a man to take her out, will call you up and say something like this..."You got time for me? You do? Take me to Chez Expensive!”


Get the picture? This type of woman is a hooka. And should be treated as such. She is not a lady that you are courting. She's a wanna be playette tryin' to get over with her looks, because she can't manage her bills to pay her own way. Feel me?


Whenever a woman has stepped to me like this and if I wanted to fuck her ass I would…break shit down to her with a quickness!


If you want me to take you out to Chez Expensive you best be ready to drop your drawers when we leave.


I wouldn’t say it quite so cold but you get the picture. If you want something you have to give something. A woman like this expects to be treated like a queen when she does absolutely nothing for the man in return (ie, call only when she asks the man to take her out, never offers to take the man out, never asks the man over just to chill or talk, never wants to visit the man to chill or talk, and heaven forbid if he asks for sex or seeks some form or intimacy).


A woman that I am mutually feeling/giving to I have no issues with treating as the lady that she is. It's circular. The more you give the more she wants to give to you and the giving turns to love.


A hooka engages in a business transaction. You want to be taken out to someplace nice by somebody that you‘re not really feelin‘? Cool. Then don't trip when he is ready to bend you ova in the back seat of his car so he can fuck ya.


You want to be treated like a queen? Then act like one.


Who’s your Daddy!




Question: E, how do you deal with broads who call you up actin like they want to hook up and then try to flip it so that you end up taken them out?







LOL…the old bait and switch huh? I love it when they do that shit. First let me start off by saying that it’s cool in…moderation…if your woman, someone you’re really feelin’ or a woman you got history with and you’re missin’ a bit steps to you and asks you to take them out.

Good black women are queens and should be treated as such. But like I said, it’s cool in…moderation. If they abuse that privilege…check their ass!


However, women that you’re just kickin’ it with, casually fuckin’, or just getting to know have…no rights whatsoever! Check their ass immediately and with extreme prejudice!  To give you an example on how to do this, I dug around in my archive log and pulled up an old conversation that I had.


t : hey u got some free time on Friday

Daddy : yes

t : 4 me

Daddy : yes

Daddy : what do you have in mind?

t : take me to Buluga’s

(Now she just fucked up! I assumed she just wanted to come over or me go to her place and she tried to flip it to me taking her to Buluga’s. This chick was just someone I…KickedItWith…upon occasion. Buluga’s is an upscale bar/restaurant where at a minimum you’re going to break off at least $100. I wasn’t feelin’ her like that! However, “I “ did feel like going out that Friday for a bit and she did have a phat ass so I presented her with an alternative before I…checked her ass…)

Daddy : Mmmmm…I don’t think so…

t : ohhhhhhh I see

t : just a visit huh?

Daddy : no…why don’t we go to the levy

t : ok

Daddy : see a movie

(See how nice I’m being to her trifling ass? )

t : ok

t : the funny bone is out there to

t : I heard Bernie Mack will be there this Friday

t : u need 2 rsvp

(Okay now she has up and lost her damn mind! Tickets for B. Mac…at least $40 each…drinks….another $40...and you know her ass woulda walked out the house without eatin’ shit talkin’ ‘bout…“I’s huuuuungry”! Which means we would be talkin’ $200-$300! For your woman…if she’s actin’ right…yes! But for her ass! Who the fuck did she think she was dealin’ with?

Now when a woman throws a ball in the air like that to see if you will catch it if you don’t want to be bothered with her ass what you do is…nothing! Don’t say shit. This technique works even better when she has the nerves to throw out some shit like that in your face. Just stare at them blankly until they start a new line of conversation.

She just made a statement. She didn’t ask you question. So you don’t have to comment. The smart ones will take the hint and move on but the dumb ones…check their ass!

I didn‘t respond and went back to work while merrily humming the song, Chicken Heads, in honor of her…

About fifteen minutes later she buzzed me…)


t : r u there

Daddy : yeap

t : did u check it out

(She just thought I was going to drop every damn thing I was doing and make a reservation! Can you believe this shit? Okay. It‘s time to stop being nice.)

Daddy : check what out?

t : about the funny bone

Daddy : no

Daddy : why should I?

t : because u have to rsvp

Daddy : I didn’t say I wanted to go there

Daddy : are you suggesting that we do?

t : my bad

Daddy : ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Daddy : so you were…'suggesting'…that we do go there?

t : I thought that was what we where discussing

Daddy : no

Daddy : I thought you were just sharing information

Daddy : and I was listening

Daddy : fyi, for future reference sweetie…

Daddy : by all means suggest whatever you want AND set it up if you're paying  

Daddy : but if your not paying for shit sweetie…

Daddy : you can make the decision to go or not go

Daddy : to where ever I chose  to take you

Daddy : so if you don’t want to go

Daddy : to the movies on Friday

Daddy : you just let me know sweetie…

Daddy : okay?

Daddy : are we clear on that? I just want you to know how I operate

Daddy : I hate confusion

Daddy : I’m sure you appreciate that…

(It took her about ten minutes before she replied.)


(“Awwww…she writin’ in big letta’s…she…maaaaad at me…”, I thought. )


Daddy : depends

Daddy : are you gonna ask me to take you out again?


Daddy : what time dear?

(Now that I checked her ass I decided to be sweet again.)

Daddy : I think that would be fun

t : 8:00pm

Daddy : never did a surprise party before

Daddy : I would love to T

Daddy : I like your company


Daddy : you're not coming to get me?

Daddy : thought you were takin’ me out?


Daddy : thank you baby

Daddy : MmmmmmWhaaaaaa!!!!




Who’s your Daddy?


EVITA PERONI<IMG border="0" width="1" height="1" src="http://ad.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/show?id=ggMIcBYyRhs&bids=252367.107&type=4&subid=0">

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Amazon Instant Video


I love watching my favorite shows with Amazon Instant Video.  I don't have expensive cable, and watch...whatever...I want...whenever I want.





Saturday, June 16, 2012

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

Marilyn lookin' over my shoulder...

I would have sooooooo fucked this bitch...

Friday, June 8, 2012

Dating Tip #37 from the book I'm shy... #erotica #ebooks #advice #sexadvice

Helpful Hint Number 37 fellas. First impressions are the best.  So after impressing a chick to the point that she gives up the digits or better yet confirms a date with you...stop talking!  You don't want to have an awkward moment, say something stupid, or get in an argument over something petty and talk yourself out of getting some pussy.  After you wax that ass well you can get away with saying something stupid every now and then.  However, until you wax that ass keep the conversation light and trivial, plan a date and then...shut the fuck up!

Effy Jewelers<IMG border="0" width="1" height="1" src="http://ad.linksynergy.com/fs-bin/show?id=ggMIcBYyRhs&bids=236272.18&type=4&subid=0">