Who's your Daddy? | 42 and horny!

 

Dear Daddy,

I’m a 42yr old woman who was married and faithful for 21yrs. I was use to having some form of sexual contact with my husband at least 5 days a week. It didn’t matter if we were happy, sad, mad or glad, I didn’t believe in withholding sex. I never let my husband leave the house without making him cum.

I tell you this because we our now separated due to unforeseen circumstances and have been for 2yrs, and I’m having a real difficult time not having sex. By no means at all am I still in love with my ex although we remain very close friends with no benefits.  

 It would be simple to just have sex with him but I don’t want or need the drama. I do however miss sex so much I masturbate everyday. The only relationship I seek is a friend with benefits. Someone to hangout with and have sex on occasion. He also has to understand and except the fact that I want to enjoy being single for a while.

This seems to be my dilemma because I don’t seem to attract anyone. I don’t know if it is because I still give off the “I’m married don’t talk to me vibe,” or if I don’t show enough interest. I’m at a loss as to how to get a man to at the very least want to have sex with me.

I’m smart, funny and although I’m not a size 2, I still look good and take pride in my appearance. Though my job and family are very demanding I set aside time to sign up at dating sites and I go with my out single friends at least once a week.  I just don’t know what more to do. Two years without sex is driving me insane!!

Please Help!!

 

Sexless in Sacramento

Hey Sexless,

No sex for the last two years? You poor horny thing!   I'm sorry to hear that darlin' let's see if I can help you out.

So you feel that you are smart, funny and attractive with some nice equipment but you're not attracting anyone?  That sends off a huge red flag for me. 

You need a complete makeover...
You need to change your routine...

First off, men are visual creatures.  Now a true predator such as myself loves discovering gold transforming women who don't have a clue that they are hot.

However, gentlemen with a discerning eye such as myself are rare and far between.  With that said you need to present yourself so that you will be noticed by the typical male.

Start off by getting your hair done.  If you wear a wig...  Throw it away.  If you wear weave...  Take that shit out.  Get your hair done!

Although men will tolerate fake hair from a woman that's hot we prefer natural hair.  So you need to eliminate as many negatives as you can that keep you from being noticed.

Find a gay man that can cut and tell him that you are his pallet to be as creative as he wishes.  Let him create whatever image that he wishes out of you and....keep the style up!

I don't care if he cuts all your hair off...wear the style that he creates for you!

Next, if you currently wear makeup then stop.  You're not putting it on right.  Don't fret with my bluntness.  Daddy got tuff love.

Go to your local Mac counter and get a small assortment of lip gloss.  Wear it at all times!

Nothing turns on a man more when he's talking to a woman than looking at her luscious lips coated with gloss and imagining his dick in her mouth.  Wear it!

Next is the hands and feet.  Get them done regularly and keep it simple putting a clear polish on your fingers and toes. That way you can maintain your digits yourself if your cash is strapped.

Finally, you need to get the wardrobe in order.  Seek the aid of a stylish friend or relative and empower them to weed out (ie, throw away) all male repulsing shoes and clothing.

After she's thrown all your crap away, have her match together your remaining items into outfits that are acceptable to getting a man's attention.  Always...wear your clothing in an...approved...combination.  Yes, I know that you will feel like a toddler putting on a garanimal.  To bad.  Because right now you're not putting your shit together right.  Suck it up!  Tuff love. Remember?

Be sure to take your fashion adviser with you when you go shopping for new clothing until your build your own sense of fashion.

So...  Now you got the hair, clothing, shoes together the next step is to change your routine.

People are creatures of habit and have a weekly routine that they go through (ie, go to work, eat lunch, use the bathroom etc).

Since you have a routine, you're going to continuously run into the same people that have the same routine as you.  So if you want to increase the odds of getting some dick you need to vary your routine.

Start attending the evening service at church.  Instead of shopping at the Kroger around the corner from your house, go to the one 15 minutes away.  Find new restaurants to eat and visit your usual hang outs at different times.

By constantly varying your routine you will run into different men and exponentially increase your chances of getting some dick.

Now you can also step up your online game.  Delete all of your profile pics and have your fashion adviser or a man that wants to fuck you have a little photo shoot.  Pose as...they...instruct you and then candidly change the description of your profile to denote what you want (ie, looking for a man to kick it with and have sex). 

Follow my instructions and you will get more dick than you can handle.  Don't follow them if your fond of continuing to play with yourself.

Who's your Daddy?